My mémère.
It was 5 days before my wedding, Ian and I made a last minute trip to Indianapolis so I could help my little sister Sydney get ready for her middle school cheerleading tryouts. I spent Saturday practicing with Sydney, and then on Sunday morning we visited my grandma. At this point in her illness, we had already determined she wouldn't be traveling to the wedding, but she was very tuned into the the whole event and we were planning on sharing the video footage with her.
That sunday after we said goodbye, she passed away a few hours later. Looking back on our conversations, I didn't realize it at the time, but she knew. She was saying goodbye, for now.
Although she had told us she was grateful for her full life, selfishly, I wanted more time with her. Her last months were filled with pain medicine and pain due to lung cancer. In our last conversation, she was telling us passionately that we needed to get another family member to stop smoking. She didn't want anyone else to bear the pain she had endured in her last days and months. Not to mention the burden of having her daughters take turns taking care of her 24 hours a day for the last couple months.
If you are thinking about quitting smoking, I fully and completely understand it will be one of the hardest things you will do in your entire life. please do it. quit.
I smoked for a little over a year. I hate to admit it. A stressful year... the start of my career and a move out of state...I was weak.... and I took social smoking my last year of college and it turned into a bad habit. Even though I only smoked for a year, quitting was much more difficult than I had ever thought it could be. I weaned myself off, starting with one a day, to one a week, to one a month.
It's been 4 years and I still get cravings on stressful days. Can you believe that? I smoked for ONE year. It is FOUR years later and I still get cravings a few times a year.
But the cravings can kiss it. After watching my grandma go through that, and also losing a great Aunt to lung cancer, it's not worth it.
I didn't want this to turn into a non-smoking ad. I'm sorry. But while I'm at it, just remember addiction is a very selfish disease. It affects you and the ones you love. I understand the information available to us today, was not available once upon a time. So, be thankful for our information and try to do something about it, please.
Marcella Harper - November 6, 1939 - August 14, 2011
She was beautiful inside and out.
She was fashionable.
...and full of sass.
She was a wonderful mother to my mom.
She was a fabulous grandmother. (that's me on the far left with my cousin Lindsay)
did I mention fashionable?
This was about 6 months before she passed. (My sisters and I with her.)
I miss you Mémère.
Love always, Savanna
No comments:
Post a Comment